The Way Home At Last is Clear.

It's odd the very thing that started this hell in 2010 is going to be the very thing that leads me back home. I learned not long ago my ex-husband is getting remarried. While I wish only the best for him and his new bride I can't help but wonder about it all. I just shake my head and for a moment that news got me to care. I drank a lot of rum, but then again it was the last step to know that I am now....Free....Funny thing is I was the one that believed in marriage, I was in the one that believed in it, but now. I will never get married again. Don't get me wrong It does not mean that I'm still in love with my ex, no he killed that. What it means is I will not tie my name to another. There is a higher force involved, and I understand that more now that I ever did while married to my ex. If you don't understand this force then you shouldn't be married. Your just scared if you try it. That is what these four years have given me. Just like I couldn't take Shaun's email how he had someone else. Then go be with someone else, but I am no longer playing this game of make a choice. My heart and head are finally singing the same tune. After four long years my head is no longer beating up my heart for feeling. I have this friend that says with her mate she just said the vow. The state wasn't even involved, are they married? In one word, yes. If you give yourself ONLY to one person. Your body and heart then you are married. It doesn't mean you can't have your fantasies but it does mean you shouldn't go seeking it. That is what my ex did to the end of our marriage. I find it no bit of irony the very marriages he held in high regard, one is no longer. THE very open marriage he looked at is gone. at that news I could only shake my head. Same week I pushed Shaun away because it was the request of his girlfriend. He wanted to keep our friendship on the downlow. I'm sorry......I'm not playing games. I find no bit of Irony that now when I'm ready for a relationship he's got that sort of one. Then again as I said....I....AM....FREE....and that sounds good